http://natf.livejournal.com/ ([identity profile] natf.livejournal.com) wrote in [personal profile] lilfluff 2014-08-16 10:05 pm (UTC)

oooooh /like ♥

I did spot some typos and clarity edits:

Mister Ehrlich would had it in for her from the first day.

'would have had it in for her' or 'had had it in for her'.

Her barbs at the cities elite might strike a little to close to her mom's boss.
'too close to'.

and I must that you for clearing them.
'thank' instead of that. If not I cannot parse this.

Mika had only heard the same tone Mister Graolagin's reply was spoken in a few times from her mother, and none of those times were pleasant memories.

This was hard to parse as well. I would perhaps add 'that' before 'Mister'.

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